Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
