That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
