I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
