You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
