Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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