I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
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