if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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