He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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