I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
