We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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