The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
