Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Never underestimate the power of titties
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
