his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
