She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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