Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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