Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
