Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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