You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize