Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
