I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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