He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
