One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
