Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
