I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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