We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
