College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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