he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
