I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize