3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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