well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
