can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
