my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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