What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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