It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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