The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We left the knife in your bed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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