Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
