True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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