even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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