there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
