tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize