Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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