We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everclear isn't food dammit
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
