if i can run in heels then i can drive
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Houston, we have a squirter
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
please don't ironically join a cult
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