i think my mom watched the whole time
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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