I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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