she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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