I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His nipple licking is glorious
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