Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I'm really busy with my period
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