we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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