You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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