is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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