Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
