so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
