I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize