youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize