I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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