i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize