better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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