Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize