i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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